It doesn’t mean one should be passive or not care. Do your best and let it go.
I’ve had a record number of late work assignments turned in this year. For each assignment submitted late, I’m having students complete this form. Something tells me this will not be the only form this student submits this year…
“There’s a difference between blaming someone else for your situation and that person’s actually being responsible for your situation. Nobody is ever responsible for your situation but you….This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things. You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences.”
Mark Manson, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
“Nobody makes you upset. Your mind makes you upset. It’s time to ask the question, Why do I allow people or experiences or things to determine how I’m going to think, feel, or act?”
“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”
Dear Ms. K.,
I want to thank you for giving my daughter detention today. Per our previous email, you informed me that she has been late to your class every day for several days. This baffled me, as I drop her off an hour early and you are her first class of the day. After several warnings, you emailed me to let me know that should she be late again, she would get detention. I assured you she would not repeat that mistake.
But of course, I cannot guarantee the actions of anyone besides myself.
After confronting her, she hurriedly assured me she learned her lesson. She explained that she gets hungry and her friend meets her to bring her food. Her friend is not always so quick.
Oh, are we blaming our friend?
No, no. It’s not her fault. Mom, it won’t happen again!
I try to give my daughter freedom within strict guidelines. A “C” in a class at any time means her cell phone gets confiscated until the grade goes up. How she operates within her hours and activities is up to her.
When I remind her to make time for breakfast in the mornings and to pack a snack, I am met with heavy sighs. She is too busy styling her hair and applying makeup to worry about breakfast.
So it happened again today. She didn’t eat breakfast. She got hungry and met her friend. She was late to your class. And, as you promised, she will now have to serve detention – one hour after school tomorrow.
In the car, she was shaken. She’s never had this kind of consequence from a teacher before.
“It’s my fault. I got hungry. I didn’t pack any snacks or eat breakfast. It’s my responsibility. I will pack food the night before.”
I wanted to lecture her and reinforce the lesson. I wanted to voice my dismay and disappointment. Instead, I said, “I am very proud of you for taking responsibility for this and not blaming anyone.”
Thank you, Ms. K., for doing the right thing. You are helping my daughter develop character and responsibility.
Can a single mom with four children, build a house for her family, using YouTube videos?
Yes, she can.
Motivation is tricky. You have to have several factors present, including:
- The belief you can achieve the objective (advancement);
- autonomy (you have free will and the ability to it your way); and
- responsibility (you take on what you need to in order to achieve it)/
What are you motivated to achieve?