The Surprising Science Behind Success

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As I mentioned before, Eric Barker’s book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree is definitely worth reading. Most of the book consists of interesting case studies to prove points (importance of networking, believing in yourself, risk-taking, being kind vs. ruthless, perseverance and the company you keep). However, his final chapter does a nice job of wrapping things up tightly.

In a nutshell, here is what he (and tons of research) find:

You must define success for yourself.

There are four quadrants to everlasting happiness:

  • Enjoyment, winning (achievement), feeling significant (to others) and one’s legacy (extending oneself).

Barker recommends creating an actual grid and listing action items for each category. Also, he believes there is value in tracking what you are actually doing against this grid (Netflix marathon would not qualify for “enjoying” – rather, being in the flow of work is true enjoyment).

Lastly, Barker says scheduling your to dos is much more effective than a list!

Habitats & Habits

I feel sorry for my sixth graders.

When I was in sixth grade, the only technologies to distract me were the TV and radio. I received my beloved yellow Sony Walkman years later. But even then, in order to make a mix tape, I had to listen to the radio on my boombox and catch my favorite song, hit “record” and “stop” at just the right time.

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Now, the barrage of sounds and images are relentless. You can hear the voices of your peers night and day from your phone. You can catch your favorite TV or film or YouTuber or musician 24/7. Filters and editing programs make everyone look slim, smooth and shiny. 

And if you’re one of the very few who does not own a phone, you might be ostracized. You are deemed too poor or your parents are too strict. You’re square (do they say that anymore)! Regardless, laptops are ubiquitous. The temptation to enter fantasy land is everywhere

I just completed reading Eric Barker’s “Barking Up the Wrong Tree.” The book is a compelling read, replete with interesting anecdotes and scientific data to back up his various assertions regarding personal success. One of the most important tips he offers is the adage “control your environment.” A closely linked axiom: know thyself

The most successful and productive people practice this. A few examples:

  • disconnect from the internet while working;
  • place cell phone in the other room;
  • never keep junk food in the house;
  • never hit snooze – get right up (!);
  • work before pleasure;

and so on.

I remind my students that “success” – whatever they define it to be – is within their reach. But they must make a commitment to it and do the necessary work.

Now, more than ever, knowing oneself and taking actions to ensure meeting one’s potential might be the most challenging – yet important – task at hand.

 

Ambition – Aspiration – Appetite

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“I love to draw insects and flowers”

Ambition is the strong desire to achieve something.

Aspiration is the hope to achieve something and it also means to draw breath.

Appetite is the natural desire to satisfy a bodily need.

I posit this: that it’s best to work from your appetite when it comes to striving for something. You should literally feel it in your gut and your heart- and allow that to drive your actions. Your body will never steer you wrong.

If your labor is derived from aspiration – the hope with the breath – that is almost as good.

And if you blindly seek your ambition – that desire which originates and stays within your mind –  there is a danger that it’s misguided.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“We get more of what we respond to.”

Seth Godin

 

 

Practice Daily

 

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In art, one must be mindful of space: the space between images.

In a few of these, I was afraid of too much space and added graphics. The result was a non-uniform crowding of images, which is not pleasing to the eye.

 

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In relationships, space is even more critical. “Caring” and “parenting” are not about invading space, but respecting our teenagers as their own people. Crowding and controlling them is not pleasing to them!

This is the exact opposite of how I was raised.

But I can choose to question that thinking and do better.

 

Beholden

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orchid doodle

 

I am grateful for the early morning intention

To feed my daughters earth’s fruits

At lunch when I am absent

my love is omnipresent

I am grateful for the pesky wind

That musses “perfect” hair

And shouts sweet nothings in my ears

All are signs that I’m alive

I am grateful for the cuts on my fingers

They scream silently as I work

scabs, wrinkles, dry cuticles – 

My hands are marked with ravages of time and labor

 

The Root of the Matter

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Doodle of root vegetables*

I’m going to sound like a terrible mom, but I packed raw carrots in my daughters’ lunches a few weeks ago for the first time this school year. After the first day, one of the teens said, “I love carrots! I felt so good after I ate it.”

With all the pre-packaged foods available now, (Lunchables, anyone? – ick!)  it’s so easy to overlook the simplicity (and goodness) of washing, cutting and packing fresh fruits and vegetables for lunch.

It’s so easy!

It’s so good for you!

“Today, strong evidence exists that some of the vital nutrients found in many root vegetables — including vitamin A, vitamin C, potassium, magnesium and dietary fiber — can help fight cancer, diabetes, obesity, and inflammatory-based disorders like heart disease and arthritis.”

Dr. Axe

Funny How the Mind Works

I’m taking painting classes through Creativebug.com (Lisa Congdon!) and last night, right before bed, I painted this:

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I went to bed and when I woke up, I thought of a vintage dress a friend gave me over twenty years ago. It’s stored in a closet in my office – and I never look at it. Yet something evoked a need to look at the pattern:

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Voila!

It makes you realize how your brain is working while you sleep. I notice that whatever I think about right before I go to bed is clarified somehow when I wake up. This is why watching informative and inspiring programs before bed is better than watching news…this is why reading a good book is better than arguing…and this is why asking yourself “How can I solve this problem?” is a better question than “Why me?”