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I was preparing to do a backbend with pushups (yes, it’s just as fun as it sounds!) when I was filled with dread and doubt. But Jillian said, “One, two, three!” and I started bending my arms slowly, until my head touched the ground and then I straightened my arms. I did 15 of those. It was grueling. I hated it. I’m glad it’s over.

There’s something about counting…counting down or counting up, it doesn’t matter. Notice when parents tell their kids to do something and they start counting: “ONE…TWO…!” The kids hup to it before “THREE!” Why? They just know they better get going. It’s a weird motivator.

I love this Ted Talk from Mel Robbins. She says the key to success in anything is to know one thing:”You’re never going to feel like it.” You’re never going to feel excited to do those backbend pushups, you’re not going to feel like jumping out of bed to get to work first (well, probably not…) and you’re not going to feel like eating salad instead of cheesecake.

But in those areas of your life that are working, you are doing the things you don’t necessarily feel like doing. You’re exercising self-discipline. Robbins’ “Five Second Rule” is to take action no longer than five seconds from the moment you have the thought, I should…

I should get out of bed now…

I should go for a run…

I should send that email asking for a favor…

I should clean the fridge…

I should go to bed now…

Try it. The rule is, you have five seconds from the time you have the thought. Or make your own countdown!

You Can’t Make Me

You can’t make me wake up and prepare for the day,

through threats or rewards or anything you say.

You can’t make me study for the quiz or the test,

you can’t make me pay attention and do my best.

But you can nicely inquire about the songs I like,

or invite me out to to shop, see a movie or a hike.

Because building a union based on sincerity

will lead to a life full of jocularity

for you as well as for me.

Want to be a Millionaire?

W is for Wealth and Wisdom*

What I know through years of experience:

Never pay full price when it comes to cars and cellphones
School loans are NOT worth having but a college degree is:

(How to Go to College for Free)
To be happy, be proactive about learning all of your life:

(The 10 Proven Habits of The Happiest People in the World)
You cannot motivate anyone and no one can motivate you
A penny saved IS a penny earned
Never give a damn what others think

*Part of my alphabiography project

Ahhh! Bliss…

Photo by Andre Mouton

V is for Veracity*

Truth —-> Self-Awareness —> Integrity —> Self-Contentment —> Peace

Which would you prefer: to be happy or to reach xyz goal?

When I find myself starting to worry or getting wrapped up in achieving xyz…The question, Isn’t it important to be happy? realigns my focus. The truth is, it’s not what I do that’s important, it’s HOW I do what I do.

*Part of my alphabiography project

Wave Your White Flag

Acceptance of what is real is one of the main precepts of freedom, according to the great spiritual thinkers. Most of us have not met complete inner peace because we resist reality. Our egos take over and react: We complain about things that “happen to us.”

Practicing full surrender to reality means accepting (completely) the fact that you have to take your car into the garage for the second time in two weeks (this time, to fix the tail lights).

It means that you are not disappointed or frustrated when technology fails, when your plane gets delayed or when you realize you sent the wrong email to the wrong person.

Full surrender means you accept that you just got canned and you’re now unemployed….you accept the sudden death of a loved one or that you lost your (fill-in-the-blank) competition.

If you can accept all that life brings you, then you are well on your way to true happiness.

Your Voice

The Internet is abuzz with information, commercials, stunts, and opinions. Much of it is not helpful. When cultivating your own platform for media, be strong in your voice, in your stances and in your intention.

Simply pursuing followers and fame will lead to an absence of good intentions and common sense. For example, Monalisa Perez shot her YouTuber boyfriend Pedro Luiz III through a book he was certain would stop the bullet.

It is far more sweet to own your tiny corner of authenticity than to walk the stage of fraud.

Set Your Mind to It

When I was five and my sister was four, our babysitter watched us coloring in our coloring books. Where my sister stayed within the lines, I colored slightly (OK, maybe not so slightly) outside the lines. “JoAnne colors nicely and Caroline needs to work on that a little bit.” Her sarcasm was not lost on me, even then.

This bit of criticism colored my world (pardon the pun!) “I am not a good artist.” This was just something I accepted for many years. But I’ve always longed to draw and paint. For someone with no formal art education, I think I am pretty OK. I think I can improve and I very much want to improve.

Thanks to Carol Dweck, we can all sigh optimistically now.

For eons, people believed in the “Fixed Mindset” – that talents are innate and readily apparent; Believers assert that one should avoid mistakes and failures. In fact, if you find yourself failing at something, people who adopt the “fixed mindset” philosophy say you ought to just quit, because clearly, it’s not for you.

But Dweck, one of the leading researchers of motivation, discovered the truth about achievement and learning: The Growth Mindset. She says you learn from mistakes. You grow! Intelligence and talent are developed and in order to be successful, you must make mistakes. Clearly, this is true. The Wright brothers did not discover how to create a plane on the first attempt and Edison did not discover the light bulb on his first try, either. One needs to make mistakes to learn, grow and achieve.

Growth Mindset believers say “yet” is the magic word. I can’t draw well yet, but with consistent practice and quality education, I will!

Check out her website: mindsetonline.com. It includes a test to determine where you are on the mindset continuum and ways to change it.

I’m going to start drawing lessons (free) on skillshare.com. Go Growth Mindset!

Bold Moves

Photo by Stephen Di Donato

Approximately 50% of the population makes New Year’s resolutions. Of them, only 10% realize their goals (Psychology Today).

To make major changes in your life, you need to make some bold moves. But “bold” does not mean drastic and sudden. I like to think of being bold as “being courageous” and embracing a level of discomfort in order to grow.

Waking up a half hour earlier than usual and walking for 30 minutes might be uncomfortable, but doing so on a consistent basis for six months or more will undoubtedly result in favorable change.

One of the main reasons people don’t reach their goals is because they set unrealistic objectives. They plan on making radical changes through extreme acts. In reality, all it takes is a bit of courage to expand one’s comfort zone and to do it consistently…kind of like erosion: slow and steady.

Efficiency Tip

Remove Facebook from your phone.

You’ve probably heard that if you’re trying to lose weight or get healthy, you should not keep junk food in the house. Will power is depletable. That is, it will work for a certain amount of time before you will inevitably give in.

In the same vein, if you want to be productive, don’t keep time wasters so easily accessible.

Consider replacing that app with a productivity or inspiring podcast you can listen to during down times. Or install a reading app such as Kindle or Audible.

Set yourself up for success.

At First Blush…

par·a·dox

ˈperəˌdäks/

noun

a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true.

I roll out of bed after two days of rest from exercising. I do not want to work out today! Paradoxically, after such a long respite, I feel more tired than usual. But I don my clothes and shoes and start the physical ~~self-flagellation~~ exertion.

Curiously, I feel so much better afterwards. I actually have more energy after expending it: the fridge gets cleaned out, I chirpily run errands with the family and I feel like I can handle anything.

Not everyone feels this way, I know. But if you’re in a slump, give it a try. I’m recommending a challenging workout, not just a walk around the block. See if it works. (It’s better than over-caffeination, eating sugar or complaining!)

Kismet

Daily Practice

motivation