No Two Are Alike

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“The middle one is pregnant,” says the husband.

Every zebra has unique stripe patterns – much like humans’ fingerprints. 

If we could just appreciate our singularity – and the originality of others, this world would be a more peaceful place.

I like Ram Dass’ observation: When we go out and see trees, we don’t judge them. We don’t say this one is better than that one. We appreciate every tree. We should do that with people. Appreciate every person. 

Judgmental people tend to judge themselves fiercely. They believe it makes them work harder and be better. In fact, judgmental people possess an insecurity and sometimes a level of self-hate that disables them to love others.

There is strife in America right now. There is a great divide. But ignorance is being met with consciousness and ultimately, awareness will win.

 

 

 

The Laughing Experiment

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Lettering doodle

I’ve studied spiritual masters for years now. One (of many) common threads of assertions is that it is our thoughts that make us miserable (in fact, this might be the most basic tenet). Life is life. “Problems” – as we see them – are never ending.

But because most of us see the same things as problems, we don’t see an alternative way to interpret these events.

Your child didn’t get into the college of her choice;

your son accidentally demolishes your garage door with your car;

your husband loses his job;

you get a cancer diagnosis;

and on and on…

It does look impossible to see these as anything but problems. But are they? It’s just life.

Crying, moaning and complaining about them do no good.

Just handle it and, if you can, laugh at the same time.

Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was fortunate: early stage I. But while I recovered from the first of six surgeries, my husband lost his job. His boss cried as he let him go, knowing what we were “going through.” Our two daughters were six and eight years old. We worried about money and their emotional states.

It did seem like the beginning of the end.

But it wasn’t.

I’m here, stronger than ever. Wiser. Fearless.

My husband eventually got his current job – the best one he’s ever had.

Everything happens for a reason. The fact that it is happening is proof.

Handle it. Address the situation without anger, without sadness and without stress, if you can.

The distress and depression come from fighting it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Encounters of the “Dreadful” Kind

Fear (or terror) is the root of all anger.

Do you get angry often? Want to change but don’t know how? Try the five “whys.” Ramit Sethi recommends asking yourself “why” five times to get to the root of procrastination, but I think it can help identify all types of suffering.

Example:

When I drive, I get angry with drivers who are slow and get in my way.

Why?

Because I’m tired and I just want to get home.

Why?

Because my clients were terrible and I want to relax.

Why?

So I can feel good and forget about the day.

Why?

It was a hard day because I don’t feel good about how I handled one of my meetings. I’m afraid I didn’t seal the deal (or impress the boss, or look good to others, etc.)

Why?

Because I didn’t prepare well enough… I went to bed too late last night….I wasn’t at the top of my game…I don’t like my job…

By the fifth why, you usually get to the real root of the problem. It’s not the traffic, but your fears that drive your anger.

Painful events and relationships are lessons to us. Life is a persistent teacher and homework will keep coming until you’ve passed the test.

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Whooo’s angry?