We’re a little over a month to the New Year, but it’s never too early to think of New Beginnings. I’m not into countdowns, as that takes your mind out of the present moment. However, I believe reflection and assessing the areas of your life can be important in getting what you want. Perhaps everything is great: your marriage, the kids, and your health. But your career is flagging? Or maybe your career is going great, but your relationships are strained?
Can you identify the areas of current strength and happiness? Which area(s) would you like to address? Pinpointing your target areas is the first step to improvement.
When we label each other as “other” (Republican, Democrat, poor, rich, stupid, illegal immigrant, foreigner, smart, crazy, disabled, etc.), we create a chasm which enables us to treat each other inhumanely.
We can each do our part by stopping this practice. Go ahead, try it. I bet it will make you happier.
When I use the “chuck it” with my dog, Opal, she runs as fast as lightning. I’ll throw the tennis ball 6 or 7 times and when we’re done, Opal is exhausted and happy. And then she’s mellow for the rest of the day. She is kinder with other dogs and she’s a delight to be around.
When I skip my own workout, I feel sluggish. I don’t have as much energy. When I force myself to work out – despite fatigue – I feel energized and I’m ready to take on my work.
Sometimes, the “magic pill” is just hard work.
What is it for you? Meditation? Yoga? Weight lifting? Set yourself up for success and do it, even if you don’t feel like it.
My husband’s birthday is in November – his 50th birthday, so we partied for TWO weekends. And then there’s Thanksgiving. To say it’s been challenging to write is an understatement, what with work, family, and parties…but it’s SUPER FUN!
I’ve set a goal for myself to write a “novella,” (7,500 to 40,000 words) instead of a novel (60,000 to 100,000 words). I wanted to set myself up for success, afterall! So I targeted 25,000 words and averaged it the number of days in November. Here is my excel sheet to monitor daily progress:
Nov
goal
actual
balance
1
834
300
534
2
1668
368
1300
3
2502
2218
284
4
3336
3327
9
5
4170
3870
300
6
5004
3870
1134
7
5838
4401
1437
8
6672
6014
658
9
7506
6440
1066
10
8340
7603
737
11
9174
on the road, wrote in word
12
10008
9122
886
13
10842
10682
160
14
11676
11201
475
15
12510
16
13344
As you can see, I have to write at least 475 more words tonight. So here I go! I hope you are enjoying the process and making progress. Once in awhile, I have to remind myself to HAVE FUN and not stress about the word count or listen to Monkey Mind!
Because I work with children all day (super busy bees!) and have two children of my own, daydreaming about solitude occurs from time to time. To be alone! Ahhhhh! To stand in silence. I dream.
But it is within community that we find meaning in our lives and our work. You might work alone, but your work inevitably touches people. If it doesn’t, it’s not of value.
I was in a workshop for educational leadership. We broke out into groups and were asked to list cultural values we would uphold as leaders. One group mentioned “transparency.”
“What does that mean?” Our instructor asked.
“You know…you get what you see,” one group member answered. She sounded feeble.
“Transparency. No secrets! You share everything…that includes your conversations about other people. When you talk about someone who isn’t there, you should only say what you’d say if they WERE there.”
This is when I realized I have worked in a lot of dysfunctional work environments. How would this affect your professional life? That is, if you stopped engaging in gossip? How about your personal life?
I’ve always been a bit high-strung. I’ve always been a worrier.
I used to spend more time worrying than taking action to stop the worry.
As I begin the last half of my life, I want to be a warrior.
I’m reading Tolle, Singer, the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu.
Bday gift from sis…
I’ve read all kinds of books and learned a lot. But I heard Elizabeth Gilbert the other day on a podcast and she said something that clicked (!)
She was talking about her writing process and she said she writes in seasons….you know, as in nature. She said something like this (totally paraphrasing): There’s the quiet (winter) phase, where’s she’s in between projects and thinking, getting inspired. Then she begins research (spring), and she writes (summer) and then does the whole marketing tour bit (fall). And the cycle begins again.
The part that struck me as shockingly KIND to herself was that she gave herself time to just think, rejuvenate, get inspired. She sees it all as an integral part of her creative process.
Wow.
You mean, you don’t have to keep working and sweating?
It made sense to me. Of COURSE, even nature takes breaks. Parts of it die in order to enable other things to grow. This applies to every career, every job, every role in life.
So yes, make your To Do lists and set goals. That is important. But be sure to take the time to relax, re-energize, and follow the cycle. Calmly get each step done. No need for stress.
When my daughters were six and seven, I realized something shameful.
I had a tummy paunch and was telling myself it was post-pregnancy fat. Yep, six years after giving birth, I excused and denied my mottled middle.
My moment of reckoning occurred at a Cold Stone Creamery of all places. We were eating our favorites: Ava with her Chocolate Devotion, Josie with her Strawberry Blonde and me with my Coffee Lovers. Boy, were we having a great time!
Before I get further with this story, I want to make something clear: there is nothing wrong with love handles or a bit of pudge. As long as YOU’RE OK with it. I was not OK with my weight. I wore loose clothing and felt badly when I undressed. It’s just me….I feel best about myself when I am fit. I have a small frame and I feel uncomfortable with excess pounds. This is not a judgment about other people. It’s about me confronting something I was unhappy about and how I changed it.
Continuing…We got up from the table when a very fit woman walked past the window.
She walked just like this…
“Wow, she’s fit,” I said, wistfully.
“Mommy, you look good too, everywhere except your tummy.” Josie said.
As with all children, her words rang true. I had let myself go a bit. I licked the final bits of Coffee Lovers off my upper lip. I fought tears. And I sighed.
I was ready to change.
In the next year, I lost 7 lbs. and got fit again. I had more energy and I was in a better mood much of the time. How did I do this?
I simply changed my habits.
Instead of going out for ice cream, I took the girls out for walks. We didn’t stop going out for treats entirely, we just cut back.
Instead of eating when I felt bored or stressed, I started jogging and doing yoga again. BUT, I made it a habit and I rewarded myself each time. According to Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit), this is THE key to success. I woke up an hour early every day. I put on my workout clothes which I laid out the night before. After my workout, I had a glass of water and a cup of coffee. I reveled in feeling the endorphins run through my body and my coffee became my reward. I told myself, “No workout, no coffee.” I like coffee a LOT. That was enough to keep me going.
Honestly, I believe I am in better shape now than I was 25 years ago.
Is there something you want to change? How can you develop habits to make it happen? It’s easier than you think! I highly recommend Charles Duhigg’s book, “The Power of Habit.” It’s very entertaining and informative.
The hippocampus in our brains is responsible for our learning, our emotions and our memory. As we age, we get concerned about its health.
We’ve known exercise is good for the brain, because studies have shown that exercise pumps blood throughout our gray matter, improving mood and thinking.
But which type of exercise is best?
Aerobics?
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Weight-lifting?
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High intensity interval training?
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It’s sustained aerobics!
According to Mindful.com, an experiment on lab mice in Finland showed definitively, that sustained aerobics produced the most neurogenesis.
Weightlifting is great for your muscles (and aging). High intensity interval training is excellent for calorie burning and aesthetics. But aerobic exercise is excellent for the brain. Whatever your fitness routine, don’t skip your spinning (or slimnastics or dancing or kickboxing classes)!
Kismet 