happiness

Succulents

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This incredibly slow-growing plant is often compared to aloe. Its contrasting white striations against its dark green leaves make it a popular houseplant and a trendy way to decorate your home or even office desk. It is easy to maintain but keep it away from direct sunlight or deep shade. It only needs watering about once a month, and if you’re lucky, the Zebra cactus will flower during the summer if given the proper living conditions throughout the year. (FTD.com)

You’re Projecting!

When I was a kid, we had all kinds of sayings:

Takes one to know one.

Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

Take a chill pill!

But one that stands out is: You’re just projecting! I don’t think we really understood what we were saying, but it usually left the Complainer speechless.

And with good reason.

When we complain about others, we are projecting. Byron Katie’s work includes as “turnaround.” When you find yourself grumbling about someone, she has you turn it around:

“Sheila should not operate out of fear.”

Turn it around.

“I should not operate out of fear.”

With inquiry, we find that we are projecting our own fears and inadequacies.

High Quality No

Byron Katie and Oprah were talking about the issue of saying “no” to others and feeling used. Oprah mentioned some family members who repeatedly have “used her” and asked for money. But Katie said, “Nobody can use you.”

Oprah was confused. Of course, people use each other all the time! And Katie said, “What happened? They asked for money and you gave it to them. And then you didn’t want to give them money anymore. You felt bad because you gave them money and went against yourself. You never wanted to give the money in the first place.” Oprah then expressed her concern about saying no. Katie suggested a “high-quality no.” They acted it out.

Oprah: “I want $100,000.”

Katie: “I know you do. But…no.”

Oprah: “But you have so much money! Just give me $100,000. I really want it.”

Katie: “Yes, I know.  But I’m going to say no.”

Oprah admitted that she hasn’t always just said no. She’d say things like “I gave you money before and I told you I wouldn’t do it again…etc.”

A high-quality no is just a firm no. No need for defensiveness or a lecture or explanation. Just…no.