Attitude, Focus and Sweat

rob-mulally-123849 — Photo by Rob Mulally

An important skill taught in Driver’s Education courses is to keep one’s eyes where one wants to go (the safe place) and not on obstacles that one wants to avoid. For example, if your car starts to skid out of control, don’t focus on the tree you’re afraid of crashing into, but on the open road. If you focus on the tree, that’s where you’ll end up.

In life, that tree can be a metaphor for the last decades of our lives. We tend to focus on fears such as, “What if I don’t have enough money to retire?”

We live in a youth-centered society. We don’t take care of our elderly very well. So it’s no wonder so many of us fear growing old (despite the fact that it’s inevitable if we don’t die first).

When we choose to stop focusing on aging (and limitations), and start focusing on The Possibilities, fascinating things can happen:

Annie Proulx, this year’s winner of the National Book Award, and author of Brokeback Mountain and The Shipping News, did not start seriously writing until she was 58. (Bigthink)

In the middle of his prolific career as inventor and businessman, Thomas Edison’s plant was burned down by a fire – all of his work was gone. What was his reaction?

“Although I am over 67 years old, I’ll start all over again tomorrow.”

And he did, the very next day. He didn’t even let any of his employees go. Edison and his team made $10 million the very next year. (BusinessInsider)

What are you going to focus on?

CITATIONS

http://bigthink.com/21st-century-spirituality/how-the-mind-body-connection-determines-how-you-age

http://www.businessinsider.com/thomas-edison-in-the-obstacle-is-the-way-2014-5

Dawn Delight

It’s pre-sunset and I navigate the dark to the kitchen,

boil water, grind beans and allow the two to fuse in the French press

Open the drawing tablet and book – smile

choose a page arbitrarily and put pencil to paper

Art is Hard (for Me)

I’ve always wanted to draw. I had a babysitter (Julie) who shut that dream down when I was six. She told me I couldn’t draw or color well.

Yet, when shopping for art supplies for my daughters, I’ve always lingered in front of the pencils and drawing tablets, the paints and brushes a bit longer than necessary. I’ve saved tons of art supplies for “someday” when I have time to take a class.

I realized that “someday” is pure imagination. We only have TODAY.

For my birthday, I treated myself to Lisa Congdon’s book, 20 Ways to Draw Everything. It got 5 out of 5 stars! I’ve watched her videos. She’s really good. It arrived in the mail today. But page after page just shows 20 dogs, 20 rabbits, 20 flowers, etc. perfectly drawn! There are no step-by-step directions. In the very beginning of the book, she instructs “Draw the big shapes and lines first, then add in the smaller details.” Really?

That’s it?

I need a lot more help.

So I drew and drew and the whole time, my inner critic was talking snidely to me. Seriously, do you call that a leg?

Look at Jazz. He looks like he’s had a craniotomy.

Oh for Pete’s sakes! Why do all of your dogs look pregnant?

Precious looks broken.

Is Brutus a dog or a deer?

I have to laugh. My inner critic is funny. My drawings are funny. I want to get good, but in my own way. I’ll never be Lisa Congdon good and that’s OK. I also ordered Milk and Honey. Look at one of her illustrations:

Her illustration is not “perfect.” It’s impactful. Her poetry has resonated with so many readers that her volume of poetry is a New York Times Bestseller.

So, I’m not going for perfect. I’m on a quest to develop my own style.

Screw you, Julie!

Choosing Accountability is Empowering

“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”

R.D. Laing

Something New

If you want something different, do something different.

Now.

Don’t wait.

No excuses.

Take baby steps if you need to, but do it.

By the way, you’ll have to make a sacrifice or two. You’ll probably be a little uncomfortable. This is why most people don’t reach their goals: They don’t want discomfort and they don’t want to give anything up.

Will you stand out?

No Such Thing as a Problem

Your car gets towed, you have $21 in your checking account and your spouse left you.

Kick drama to the curb. This is life. No such thing as a problem.

Just handle it: Surrender the car to the towing facility. Or borrow money to get it out. You have minimal funds. Do you need to get a second job? Start a yard sale? Your spouse is leaving. Take care of your own finances, shelter, and food (the basics). And wish him well.

If you see each “difficulty” as a problem, then you will have a life full of problems. If you see each event as an opportunity to practice creative problem-solving (even though it’s not a problem), then you will be more creative than you ever imagined!

Ladies’ Weekend

Recently, I spent a weekend with my sister and sister-in-law at a spa resort. I have never done such a thing before and I do recommend it!

Although we called our kids several times, it was a wonderful opportunity to splurge on ourselves and talk and laugh uninterrupted. We didn’t cook or clean. We did not run errands. We simply enjoyed each other’s company and relaxed.

Purpose and Passion

Passion* = a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something

Purpose = the aim or intention of doing something for a higher cause than oneself

According to research, which wins? Which will lead to more success and happiness?

Conducting work with strong purpose will always win over simple passion.

But of course, the ultimate work includes both passion and purpose!

*Merriam Webster dictionary definition

Source: Dan Heath, The Power of Moments

Guilt as Motivation

I’ve noticed that I have been using guilt to motivate myself to exercise. It didn’t dawn on me until recently that this could be different.

The moment I wake up, I feel a bit of dread and (sub-consciously) give myself permission to feel good only AFTER I work out. But can I train myself to look forward to working out?

When I spoke about this to friends and family, most responded with, “Of course, that’s the only way it can be when it comes to doing tasks what we don’t enjoy!” However, I suspect it’s not the only way…

Changing my motivation to a more positive approach would also help me with willpower in general. If I positively anticipate training, then I utilize no willpower, which is a limited source. I can then apply willpower to that piece of cake in front of me.

taylor-kiser-373474 — Photo by Taylor Kiser

Producing

You gain a follower. You are so happy! And then you lose one. Or two.

You play in a tennis tournament and make several unforced errors that cost you the match.

You stutter and stammer during the most important business meeting of the year. You’re sure you didn’t clinch this deal.

The feeling of disappointment is hard for you to shake.

Recently, a couple was found guilty of stealing from Amazon.com: $1.2 million! Was Jeff Bezos was up late at night, worrying about it? Was he fixated on this one event, wondering why? No. He’s got the holiday shopping season, Whole Foods and new centers to build and maintain. He’s got “people” (lawyers) to handle the problems. He stays on-task.

This pertains to work and relationships: focus on progress (which leads to the ultimate goal). The subscriber count, the meeting and the competition are just one metric in each sphere of work.

Keep on keeping on!

Kismet

Daily Practice

motivation