Habitats & Habits

I feel sorry for my sixth graders.

When I was in sixth grade, the only technologies to distract me were the TV and radio. I received my beloved yellow Sony Walkman years later. But even then, in order to make a mix tape, I had to listen to the radio on my boombox and catch my favorite song, hit “record” and “stop” at just the right time.

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Now, the barrage of sounds and images are relentless. You can hear the voices of your peers night and day from your phone. You can catch your favorite TV or film or YouTuber or musician 24/7. Filters and editing programs make everyone look slim, smooth and shiny. 

And if you’re one of the very few who does not own a phone, you might be ostracized. You are deemed too poor or your parents are too strict. You’re square (do they say that anymore)! Regardless, laptops are ubiquitous. The temptation to enter fantasy land is everywhere

I just completed reading Eric Barker’s “Barking Up the Wrong Tree.” The book is a compelling read, replete with interesting anecdotes and scientific data to back up his various assertions regarding personal success. One of the most important tips he offers is the adage “control your environment.” A closely linked axiom: know thyself

The most successful and productive people practice this. A few examples:

  • disconnect from the internet while working;
  • place cell phone in the other room;
  • never keep junk food in the house;
  • never hit snooze – get right up (!);
  • work before pleasure;

and so on.

I remind my students that “success” – whatever they define it to be – is within their reach. But they must make a commitment to it and do the necessary work.

Now, more than ever, knowing oneself and taking actions to ensure meeting one’s potential might be the most challenging – yet important – task at hand.

 

Ambition – Aspiration – Appetite

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“I love to draw insects and flowers”

Ambition is the strong desire to achieve something.

Aspiration is the hope to achieve something and it also means to draw breath.

Appetite is the natural desire to satisfy a bodily need.

I posit this: that it’s best to work from your appetite when it comes to striving for something. You should literally feel it in your gut and your heart- and allow that to drive your actions. Your body will never steer you wrong.

If your labor is derived from aspiration – the hope with the breath – that is almost as good.

And if you blindly seek your ambition – that desire which originates and stays within your mind –  there is a danger that it’s misguided.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“We get more of what we respond to.”

Seth Godin

 

 

The Root of the Matter

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Doodle of root vegetables*

I’m going to sound like a terrible mom, but I packed raw carrots in my daughters’ lunches a few weeks ago for the first time this school year. After the first day, one of the teens said, “I love carrots! I felt so good after I ate it.”

With all the pre-packaged foods available now, (Lunchables, anyone? – ick!)  it’s so easy to overlook the simplicity (and goodness) of washing, cutting and packing fresh fruits and vegetables for lunch.

It’s so easy!

It’s so good for you!

“Today, strong evidence exists that some of the vital nutrients found in many root vegetables — including vitamin A, vitamin C, potassium, magnesium and dietary fiber — can help fight cancer, diabetes, obesity, and inflammatory-based disorders like heart disease and arthritis.”

Dr. Axe

Sleep

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Fatigue can lead to irritability…which can lead to arguments with others. It also hinders our ability to focus and feel good physically.

Interesting fact: “Sleep deprivation was a factor in some of the biggest disasters in recent history: the 1979 nuclear accident at Three Mile Island, the massive Exxon Valdez oil spill, the 1986 nuclear meltdown at Chernobyl, and others.” (WebMd)

Your sleeping habits affect everything you do. So consider getting a minimum of 7 hours of sleep every night!

 

New Year 2018

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Before you resolve to start an endeavor (or stop a bad habit), you may want to take time to reflect, first.

“Pain + Reflection = Progress (Ray Dalio)”

What worked for you this year? What didn’t? What did you do fantastically well? What could you have improved? What pains did you endure and what did they teach you?

Goals and resolutions are like seeds. Under proper care, they will germinate.

 

 

 

 

 

The Coffee Can

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My first free drawing (12/24/17)

A young woman got married at the age of eighteen (like her mother had and her grandmother and all the other women in her family before her). She had five kids in quick succession. “And when the oldest child was ten, and the youngest was three months old, this woman’s husband left her.” (E. Gilbert)

To make a long story short, her heart was broken and she cried in despair. But then – that very day that she realized her husband was not coming back – she decided that the vision of her being poor and pathetic for the rest of her life was not to be. She was going to see the world someday.

The woman decided to save $1 every single day. It was not to be touched under any circumstances. This was her promise to herself. It was not emergency money.

She saved $1 every day for twenty years, filling many coffee cans.

And when the last child left the house, she went on a cargo ship (it was the least expensive way to cruise around the world). It stopped every few days and she’d disembark and see a new country.

This is the story the woman told Elizabeth Gilbert at one of her readings.

Clearly, we can decide to take fate into our own hands.

We can make our dreams come true. It might take longer than we’d like, but it can be realized.

“You can have it all. Just not all at once.”

 – Oprah Winfrey

Lion

#1: When your computer breaks down and you have to type and publish your blog on your cell phone, ROAR like a lion.

#2: When the bonus they promised to deliver in December gets postponed to February, ROAR like a lion.

#3: When Pinterest tells you that someone in Russia has hacked your account and you can’t reset your password (see #1), ROAR like a lion.

#4: When you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, angry or depressed, ROAR like a lion.

Or…close your eyes, breathe deeply and know everything is fine.

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It’s That Time Again…

Holidays. Busyness. Stress.

Don’t forget that stress and complaining are choices. Complaining is a form of denying reality*. It also makes you sound like a victim. You don’t want that, do you?

Below are my drawings for today. They are incomplete. I helped my daughter learn how to drive today. Someone honked at her loudly as she paused at the red light, uncertain if she should go or not. She got stressed.  And then we went out to help her buy her boyfriend a birthday gift. She worried it wasn’t enough. I assured her that her thoughtfulness in choosing the gifts was what really counted.

I am now at my other daughter’s high school concert. When all is said and done, I will have been here with her for six hours.  I didn’t get to complete my drawing or get my workout in or get any holiday shopping done. Oh well. But I did get to have a wonderful lunch with her between two concerts and talk about everything she wanted to share with me. We ate and talked and ate and talked and then we had enough time to buy makeup from Target before going back for her final performance.

It’s all good. I’m grateful I can do these things – be completely present for each of my daughters…and be completely present while I draw my funny-looking lizards.

*Eckhart Tolle

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Where Does the Ladder Lead?

“Success” in the career realm often means “climbing up the ladder” or obtaining a promotion. If you are interested in this, Eric Barker has data-driven advice:

Network. There are wrong ways and “right ways” to do this. The right way is to offer help to those around you at work – and not just to the well-liked people. If you can forge a strong working relationships with everyone, you’ll be more likely to hear about opportunities and therefore, be able to apply for them faster than others.

And, stating the obvious: If you are helpful to others before you need their help (advice, introductions to others, etc.)  then you won’t be sleazy. In fact, people will want to help you.

If you aren’t interested in climbing the ladder or playing this game, but you’re kind to everyone regardless of your job, you’ve already reached success.

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Ladies’ Weekend


Recently, I spent a weekend with my sister and sister-in-law at a spa resort. I have never done such a thing before and I do recommend it! 

Although we called our kids several times, it was a wonderful opportunity to splurge on ourselves and talk and laugh uninterrupted. We didn’t cook or clean. We did not run errands. We simply enjoyed each other’s company and relaxed.