anxiety

The Chart

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My father is currently under hospice care as his advanced lung cancer progresses. I’m here with him and my mother. Many family members and friends have come to visit and to help. As his palliative care treatment ebbs and flows, I noticed that the emphasis has been on the med and not so much the symptom. Because my mom can get anxious and stressed when she’s sleep-deprived, alone with dad and he’s in pain, I created a chart I thought might be helpful.

His liver has been compromised, so we are trying to avoid any unnecessary drugs.

 

Self-Determination

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Simpson

“There’s a difference between blaming someone else for your situation and that person’s actually being responsible for your situation. Nobody is ever responsible for your situation but you….This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things. You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences.”

Mark Manson, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”

You’re *Not* Special

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Harvey

“The truth is, there is no such thing as a personal problem. If you’ve got a problem, chances are millions of other people have had it in the past, have it now, and are going to have it in the future. Likely people you know too. That doesn’t minimize the problem or mean that it shouldn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you aren’t legitimately a victim in some circumstances.  

It just means that you’re not special.”

Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

The “Thought” Experiment

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by de Gouveia

I’ve realized that when I start my sentences with:

I wish…

I hope…

If only…

I’m worried…

that I set myself up for suffering (worry, disappointment, sadness and even anger). So I’m going to stop saying those things and catch myself when I think them. The way to true inner peace is to accept reality. And only when you have inner peace can you help others. This is an optimum time to try this as my father is in the hospital very ill right now. 

Want to join me?

You’re Projecting!

When I was a kid, we had all kinds of sayings:

Takes one to know one.

Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

Take a chill pill!

But one that stands out is: You’re just projecting! I don’t think we really understood what we were saying, but it usually left the Complainer speechless.

And with good reason.

When we complain about others, we are projecting. Byron Katie’s work includes as “turnaround.” When you find yourself grumbling about someone, she has you turn it around:

“Sheila should not operate out of fear.”

Turn it around.

“I should not operate out of fear.”

With inquiry, we find that we are projecting our own fears and inadequacies.