This is my response to this article in the Washington Post.
When the voices in your head and the frenzy on social media get to you, go out in nature.
In Stillness
meditation
Encounters of the “Dreadful” Kind
Fear (or terror) is the root of all anger.
Do you get angry often? Want to change but don’t know how? Try the five “whys.” Ramit Sethi recommends asking yourself “why” five times to get to the root of procrastination, but I think it can help identify all types of suffering.
Example:
When I drive, I get angry with drivers who are slow and get in my way.
Why?
Because I’m tired and I just want to get home.
Why?
Because my clients were terrible and I want to relax.
Why?
So I can feel good and forget about the day.
Why?
It was a hard day because I don’t feel good about how I handled one of my meetings. I’m afraid I didn’t seal the deal (or impress the boss, or look good to others, etc.)
Why?
Because I didn’t prepare well enough… I went to bed too late last night….I wasn’t at the top of my game…I don’t like my job…
By the fifth why, you usually get to the real root of the problem. It’s not the traffic, but your fears that drive your anger.
Painful events and relationships are lessons to us. Life is a persistent teacher and homework will keep coming until you’ve passed the test.
Busy, Busy Bee
Feeling stressed and anxious about the holidays is a choice. Yes, it is.
Don’t succumb to the pressure to buy.
“This year, shoppers plan on spending $660 on average for the holiday season. 27% report they did not create a budget at all and 24% say they overspent last year.” (USA Today)
Create a budget. Stick to it. If anyone has a problem with it, it’s exactly that – their problem.
Focus, instead, on expressing love for friends and family. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. That is the true spirit of the holidays, no matter what your faith.
Here is an interesting graphic from USA Today:
It’s All Good
I am grateful for people – nice and mean
Fortunes – good and bad, I love
I appreciate the pleasures, they’re pleasing
But pain brings growth and is never ceasing
So accept it all!
How to be Fully Present
You don’t have to be “moody.”
You don’t have to be ultra “proud” of your children, your spouse or your possessions.
You don’t have to react to everything…or anything.
You can choose to live within the band of happiness no matter the context or situation.
The next time something great happens, say, “thank you.”
The next time something “bad” happens, say “thank you.”
This is how to be fully present and truly happy all of the time.
Lion
#1: When your computer breaks down and you have to type and publish your blog on your cell phone, ROAR like a lion.
#2: When the bonus they promised to deliver in December gets postponed to February, ROAR like a lion.
#3: When Pinterest tells you that someone in Russia has hacked your account and you can’t reset your password (see #1), ROAR like a lion.
#4: When you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, angry or depressed, ROAR like a lion.
Or…close your eyes, breathe deeply and know everything is fine.
It’s That Time Again…
Holidays. Busyness. Stress.
Don’t forget that stress and complaining are choices. Complaining is a form of denying reality*. It also makes you sound like a victim. You don’t want that, do you?
Below are my drawings for today. They are incomplete. I helped my daughter learn how to drive today. Someone honked at her loudly as she paused at the red light, uncertain if she should go or not. She got stressed. And then we went out to help her buy her boyfriend a birthday gift. She worried it wasn’t enough. I assured her that her thoughtfulness in choosing the gifts was what really counted.
I am now at my other daughter’s high school concert. When all is said and done, I will have been here with her for six hours. I didn’t get to complete my drawing or get my workout in or get any holiday shopping done. Oh well. But I did get to have a wonderful lunch with her between two concerts and talk about everything she wanted to share with me. We ate and talked and ate and talked and then we had enough time to buy makeup from Target before going back for her final performance.
It’s all good. I’m grateful I can do these things – be completely present for each of my daughters…and be completely present while I draw my funny-looking lizards.
*Eckhart Tolle
Full Bloom
Georgia O’Keefe was a great lover of flowers. She believed that looking into a flower, you were in a new world and she wanted everyone to have that experience. But alas, she knew too many people were in a constant state of hurry. Wouldn’t this world be a better place if more people stopped to admire flowers?
Rose-Colored…
For so long, the world seemed like a bleak and hopeless place
my days were blotted with sorrow and fear
but I stopped fighting reality, I cleaned my own lenses
all is good and light now that my vision is clear
Angst in Iowa
When you’re a kid, you think everyone’s home and family is like yours. This changes when you “spend the night” at your friend’s house and realize that she doesn’t eat kimchi and rice. And her family goes bowling on weekends. And her parents don’t make her do extra math problems after completing her homework.
It took me a long time to discover that anxiety and depression are not normal – that, in fact – they are states of suffering. It took me a long time to learn this because there was so much disquietude and tension everywhere: in my house, in her house…
It is everywhere:
“Anxiety disorders are the most common type of mental illness in the U.S. They affect over 40 million adults (18 and older) or nearly 20% of the entire population every year.”(ADAA)*
AND…
“Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.” (ADAA)*
I know that all kinds of people have all kinds of disorders and that medication might be the only solution for a small percentage of the population. But I also believe that far too many of us want a quick fix in the form of a pill.
Anti-anxiety drugs, or “anxiolytics,” are powerful central nervous system (CNS) depressants that can slow normal brain function. They are often prescribed to reduce feelings of tension and anxiety, and/or to bring about sleep. Anti-anxiety medications are among the most abused drugs in the United States, obtained both legally, via prescription, and illegally, through the black market. These drugs are also known as sedatives. (Mind Disorders)**
Before considering drugs, let us try all the other options:
- exercise
- meditation
- cognitive behavior therapy
- getting more sleep
- a better diet
…just to name a few natural alternatives!
Citations:
*Anxiety and Depression Association of America (https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics)
** Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/A-Br/Anti-anxiety-drugs-and-abuse.html#ixzz4zZvioxv3
Kismet 