relationships

Legacy

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“Flower in an Hour Glass”

Grandma is visiting us

she got a really bad perm 

and her hearing has worsened since her last visit

They love her, but The Teens don’t like kimchi

Obvious and unsaid:

You, my daughters, are the land

ravaged by a series of battles from all sides,

the cry of hungry orphans

and thousands of years of cultural pride

You are the Hermit Kingdom and King Sejong’s children –

the offspring of a man who reinvented an alphabet

so the common man as well as royalty

could read –

You are women warriors 

You might have to fight 

for what others are given 

but you will never back down

Practice Daily

 

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In art, one must be mindful of space: the space between images.

In a few of these, I was afraid of too much space and added graphics. The result was a non-uniform crowding of images, which is not pleasing to the eye.

 

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In relationships, space is even more critical. “Caring” and “parenting” are not about invading space, but respecting our teenagers as their own people. Crowding and controlling them is not pleasing to them!

This is the exact opposite of how I was raised.

But I can choose to question that thinking and do better.

 

The Light! The Light!

 

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Jan. 3, 2018

Like Moths to a Flame...This adage refers to the belief that people are driven by misguided values (such as greed or lust) and that this inevitably leads to self-destruction (moths commit suicide when they fly to the light).

Entomologists still don’t know why moths do this. With each hypothesis, there are contradictions to the assertion. Thus, the mystery continues. (LiveScience)

Something that we DO know is that people often kill their dreams through self-doubt and bad habits. It’s a slow and painless death. In fact, it might be quite enjoyable: Netflix Marathons, junk food binges and endless chatting on social media are feel good in that moment.

But…

Passivity is killing your End Game. [End Game = publishing your book, starting your company, getting a better job, fostering rich relationships, running a marathon, losing 20 lbs., etc.]

Each day is precious. What action can you take to replace just one self-sacrificing habit today?

 

 

 

 

 

Good Form

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Artist:  Josie Wipff (in her art class)     December 25, 2017

This is an etching my daughter gave to me for Christmas. It’s created by painstakingly scratching the black off the etching paper with extremely sharp tools. Pushing too hard or going too fast can ruin the effect.

It reminds me that beauty and harmony can often result from taking away, and not adding:

  • Remove the resentment, disappointment and anger from your part of relationships.
  • Remove clutter in your living space.

But do this with great care.

 

 

Encounters of the “Dreadful” Kind

Fear (or terror) is the root of all anger.

Do you get angry often? Want to change but don’t know how? Try the five “whys.” Ramit Sethi recommends asking yourself “why” five times to get to the root of procrastination, but I think it can help identify all types of suffering.

Example:

When I drive, I get angry with drivers who are slow and get in my way.

Why?

Because I’m tired and I just want to get home.

Why?

Because my clients were terrible and I want to relax.

Why?

So I can feel good and forget about the day.

Why?

It was a hard day because I don’t feel good about how I handled one of my meetings. I’m afraid I didn’t seal the deal (or impress the boss, or look good to others, etc.)

Why?

Because I didn’t prepare well enough… I went to bed too late last night….I wasn’t at the top of my game…I don’t like my job…

By the fifth why, you usually get to the real root of the problem. It’s not the traffic, but your fears that drive your anger.

Painful events and relationships are lessons to us. Life is a persistent teacher and homework will keep coming until you’ve passed the test.

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Whooo’s angry?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where Does the Ladder Lead?

“Success” in the career realm often means “climbing up the ladder” or obtaining a promotion. If you are interested in this, Eric Barker has data-driven advice:

Network. There are wrong ways and “right ways” to do this. The right way is to offer help to those around you at work – and not just to the well-liked people. If you can forge a strong working relationships with everyone, you’ll be more likely to hear about opportunities and therefore, be able to apply for them faster than others.

And, stating the obvious: If you are helpful to others before you need their help (advice, introductions to others, etc.)  then you won’t be sleazy. In fact, people will want to help you.

If you aren’t interested in climbing the ladder or playing this game, but you’re kind to everyone regardless of your job, you’ve already reached success.

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