joy

The Bike Ride

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I rode my bike home from work twice last week. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for several years, but was afraid to try. The route home includes driving alongside very busy traffic and crossing two freeway ramps. But I (finally) conquered my fears and did it!

While riding, I couldn’t help but see how riding a bike home was analogous to life: there are choices you make that send you off (literally) on a different path. Every bit of the way, you make choices:

  • smile or don’t smile at those you encounter;
  • appreciate nature (or don’t);
  • follow the rules/laws (or take dangerous risks);
  • breathe and enjoy the journey OR stress and rush to get to your destination

All journeys (literal and figurative) share a common theme: It’s beneficial to look ahead and do a little planning (to be prepared), but most pleasant and constructive to be fully present.

It is rarely helpful to look back.

 

 

 

 

No Problem

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Jiddu Krishnamurti: “Do you know what my secret* is? I don’t mind what happens.”

By this, he did not mean blindly accept everything (oppression, violence, etc.) but to accept reality, and to not be “put off” by unforeseen circumstances. This is where you must start before exacting change or growth.

He lived by the tenet, “I don’t mind at all.” So I decided that would be my mantra today.

I sat down to paint. “Caroline, can you help me get my car to the garage for servicing?” I don’t mind at all.

And then I wanted to take a bath. “Honey, can you help me fix the window?” I don’t mind at all.

Throughout the day, I was called upon to do something unplanned and I thought, I don’t mind at all.

Saying it to myself in response to these events, I felt my body relax and my brain say, “This isn’t a big deal, I’m happy to help.”

I still managed to get my work done and I just completed a painting. I’m about to take a bath now…unless, of course, someone needs me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*secret to complete inner peace

Soul in Manacles

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“If someone else can decide what will happen within you right now, isn’t that the ultimate slavery?”

Sadhguru

 

“He’s a narcissist and he’s dating that whore.”

This is something she said for over eight years. Eight years. She wore bitterness on her sleeves, she spoke of her ex-husband – their father –  like this openly.  In her desire to vent and let her ego shine, she cast a dark shadow on her sons.

What she didn’t realize was that she had no control over his actions, but she DID (and still does) have control over her own thoughts and actions. When we get angry about the words and actions of others, we have just placed manacles on our own words and actions. We have become slaves to others, allowing our moods to be swayed by them.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Kiss your ex goodbye, wish him well and move on.

 

 

Motivation

 

“I am sitting at the open window (at four a.m.) and breathing the lovely air of a spring morning… Life is still good, [and] it is worth living on a May morning… I assert that life is beautiful in spite of everything! This “everything” includes the following items: 1. Illness; I am getting much too stout, and my nerves are all to pieces. 2. The Conservatoire oppresses me to extinction; I am more and more convinced that I am absolutely unfitted to teach the theory of music. 3. My pecuniary situation is very bad. 4. I am very doubtful if Undine will be performed. I have heard that they are likely to throw me over.”

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky 

 

“You absolutely have to believe in yourself. Man, you’ll get rejected hundreds of times. You have to believe in yourself if you’re going to succeed.”

Jon Bon Jovi

 

Confidence – noun, a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. 

Tchaikovsky was plagued by depression and also a hypochondriac. Somehow, he persevered and produced prolifically.  Bon Jovi and Tchaikovsky both possessed the drive to create music. This high level of motivation enabled them to overcome obstacles such as rejection and mental illness.

 

 

*photos from Unsplash.com

 

 

Bless This Union

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Photo by Jeremy Wong-Unsplash

This is the very best article I have ever read on marriage. It’s by Byron Katie.

If you are ready, reading this will feel like sitting in the light of truth.

It will feel like bathing in authenticity.

If you’re ready, reading this article can change all of your relationships – for the better.

My favorite line:

There’s no way to truly join your partner except by getting free of your belief that you need something from him that he’s not giving. 

I was raised on conditions. I had to prove my worth in order to be loved. And I grew up and did the same to those I loved. I think this is the root of many dysfunctional relationships.

 

 

It’s All You

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Photo from Saffu

If you’re “climbing a ladder” in your work and you feel tired and discouraged, I recommend giving Seth Godin’s podcast a listen. If you have children who are considering a career in music (as I do), have them listen to it as well (click the link below):

Seth Godin’s Akimbo Podcast: You’re It

With echoes of James Altucher’s “Choose Yourself,” philosophy, it’s a must hear. Always a little ahead of his time, Godin offers sound advice regarding “going for it” and not working to “pay one’s dues.” Don’t buy into outdated and ineffective advice.

 

 

 

 

Seattle, Solitude and Self

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I’m going to Seattle – flying out of Phoenix – alone.

I’ll walk to Bruce Lee’s burial site and I will utter his famous words:

“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.”

I’ll walk a mile to the Korean Bamboo and slurp kimchi tofu soup which is the fare of my clan.

I’ll venture into the Seattle Art Museum, study Iskra Johnson’s Color Bath and art from Jodhpur, India.

I’ll go to the Space Needle and, standing on the rotating glass floor, look at the bustling world below me.

At night, I will write and paint and bask in the hushed moonlight.

In my sojourn, the silence will allow me to hear myself.